My digital life and the cat dilemma
I cannot believe it is already December, this year has gone by in the blink of an eye. Since the pandemic struck worldwide and lockdowns came and went, my brain has lost track of time passing, my perception of time froze in April 2020 and now all of a sudden, I find myself discussing with friends and family Christmas presents and how odd this whole ordeal has been, still hoping things will go back to ‘normal’ and in complete disbelief that 2020 has nearly gone.
Therefore, I’ve decided to recap what has happened in the last few months that has altered my perception so much, and changed my life unexpectedly, because the so-called ‘normal’ has disappeared from my life. Today going into the office, flying abroad, visiting relatives and hanging out with friends have become to some extent new items on my bucket list. Not to mention the fact that, I’ve turned into a digital addict with a cat dilemma.
Until early this year, I had managed to achieve an almost perfect digital balance, especially when I spent most days working in front of a computer screen. I trained myself for years to keep my distance from digital screens (TV included) out of work hours. Also, I limited my time using social media to a few days a week. I must admit, at first, it was by no means plane sailing, but I got used to it. I embraced the outdoors and all the freedom it could give me.
With the advent of the pandemic, its multiple lockdowns and having to work from home, I’ve become dependent on the digital world. I surrendered to its charms and forgot about my life outdoors. Prior to lockdown working from home was an excuse to dodge meetings and actually get something done, nowadays the office is in my study and the meetings follow me everywhere I go with my mobile phone, not to mention my family and my friends, I have everybody in my pocket, literally. GIFs and emojis are my new way to show people how I feel. I’ve almost forgotten how to socially interact with others, at times I even feel awkward talking to people in person. Before, talking to people was second nature to the point that I had never considered that it could ever be difficult. Today, to some extent, I’ve developed empathy with the socially awkward.
I’ve started to say things such as ‘can you hear me ok?’ at dinner time to which my husband responds blankly ‘you are not on a video call; this is the real world’. My vocabulary has been enriched with new phrases such as ‘sorry, I was on mute’ and ‘aggressive typing’, who would have thought that ‘on mute’ could become a new adjective to describe a person’s situation or that ‘typing’ could ever be classed as aggressive. Within a few months I embraced my new digital life and whittled down my outdoor life to occasional strolls in the evenings and weekends. Also, weirdly, I developed a strange cat addiction, what I call, my cat dilemma.
Moreover, my cat dilemma isn’t something which I hold against cats, neither a dead or alive Schrödinger’s cat analysis. My cat dilemma is very simple, I cannot stop watching cat videos. I know, let me explain the whys and wherefores.
It all began in the early days of the pandemic. Someone forwarded me a video of a cat playing the xylophone. While the video was funny, I pretended not to laugh and put my phone away. You are probably thinking ‘what’s wrong with that? Cats can play musical instruments and be funny at it’. Even though online cat videos have been an internet sensation for years, I had remained a sceptical. I used to be a person who thought that watching cat videos was a complete waste of time, I had better things to do in life.
Then, the first lockdown came and all of the sudden everyone started sharing all kinds of funny videos on social media, in which cats were a persistent theme. I would watch them and pretend not to be amused. I used to say out loud ‘my friends have nothing else to do’, to which my husband replied ‘neither do you! You are watching the videos they sent you’. ‘Me? no, no, no, you know that I don’t like cat videos, also the videos were shared to their social media stories and feeds, not mine but I follow them, so everything they share will show up on my social media feed’. ‘Fair enough’ he said ‘but you do still watch them’, to which I replied ‘Wait, what? I do not watch stupid cat videos you know that I watch them because I want to find out what all the fuss is about, you don’t get it’, that became my usual reply. This went on for months.
My own pride and fear of shame wouldn’t let me accept that those cat videos were indeed funny. Perhaps I heard too many times the phrase ‘you don’t want to end up like an old spinster, alone and surrounded by cats, a cat lady’. I never understood where this concept came from, it certainly has nothing to do with failure as I know many people who could be the personification of a ‘cat lady’ and yet they still manage to succeed in life.
I do not hate cats but my time with cats hasn’t always been great. Growing up I developed all kinds of allergies and the few times I attempted to play with my grandmas’ cats I was either bitten or scratched. To be honest it was not the cats’ fault, my grandparents lived on a farm and their cats were wild. Their main job was to keep my grandma’s house free of mice and big bugs, they weren’t used to people trying to pet or hug them. As a teenager I adopted a homeless kitten, his name was ‘31st of October’ to honour the day I found him. At the time my grandparent’s cat had died, ran over by a car, and they needed a new cat for their farm, so I gave ‘31st of October’ to them. Eventually, he too was run over by a car, so I stopped liking cats and everything related to them, they seemed to come and go, there wasn’t enough time to pet them before they’d die, run over by a car or disappear into the woods.
Back to my cat dilemma. I watched every single cat video my friends shared, making ever more excuses to my husband who tried to point out what was happening many times. Eventually, I swallowed my pride and admitted to my husband that indeed I enjoyed watching cat videos, moreover, I’d even consider getting not one but two cats. The excuse was that a colleague at work was looking for a new house for his cats as he could not take care of them anymore. Also, I owe an apology to my cat loving friends, I agree with you now, cats are ridiculously cute and awesome. Today I watch a cat video at least once a day and really enjoy that moment of silliness.
You are probably thinking, what took you so long? Well, looking back at the pandemic and the lockdowns, they brought fear and uncertainty into my life, I felt anxious and stressed with a situation that no one, still now, knows when is going to end. This fear and anxiety provoked a need for escapism, found in my cat videos, which in turn forced me to confront certain long held prejudices, to accept that I actually like cat videos and that I’ve deprived, for many years, the little girl inside me who loves cats.
By finally accepting that I do like cats I cured myself, and it became my little escape route to joy and positivity. I finally understood that I’ve missed many years of great cat videos that I wished I had seen when my friends told me to. Indeed there is a place for ‘stupid cat’ videos in my new digital life and it is nothing to be ashamed of.